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Post by misspoufy on Jun 2, 2021 0:03:42 GMT
We have had a wonderful, albeit small, neighborhood for a few years. We all get along well, and have become a very cohesive group. A couple of months ago one of the members invited her sister to join, about half the level of everyone else in our neighborhood but we don't mind helping one another and were willing to help her sister to grow. Then she wanted to invite her teenaged niece to join so she'd have a safe place to play. I lowered the level to allow her to join (we have a minimum level to join our neighborhood) and suddenly things became very tense.
The two new members wanted to participate in the derby for the rewards but couldn't/wouldn't/didn't finish the nine 320 point tasks required. Sometimes it would be 1 task for the week. It cost us not only not finishing in the top 3 but getting all our rewards. We all asked, nicely, that if they were going to participate to please complete the required tasks or opt out (which is fine too, we don't required participation.)
After about three weeks of this they have now all three opted out, but now don't participate in the neighborhood at all, but still come and buy out of our shops, still requesting goods, not doing helps, etc. There's a stony silence from them as well, i.e. no thank you's, etc.
As the neighborhood leader do I address the elephant in the room? Do I kick the three of them? Do I leave it alone and let it work itself out, if it does? Our preference is for a peaceful, happy neighborhood. Kind advice is welcome.
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Post by WussyPuss on Jun 2, 2021 0:49:57 GMT
It has been my experience that many kids don’t have any idea how to be a team player and they are quite oblivious to the consequences of not fully participating.
We have a couple in our hood who invited their grand daughter to play. It was a long 2 days 🤦♀️
She started the derby and almost right away, deleted the task and took another. An hour later she announce she was going to dance school for the summer and couldn’t play anymore.
So the derby was screwed from day one and no apologies from the grandparents either. The couple is still with us 3 years later.
Anyway, I would probably send a hood message or ask in chat if they have any intention of helping hoodies or chatting, or whatever you need from them. If it still feels like an elephant in the room, then I think they need new homes
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🌻 Fezzerz
Junior Member
SC Forums: Feb 2013 - June 2021
Posts: 29 
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Post by 🌻 Fezzerz on Jun 2, 2021 2:37:42 GMT
I agree with wussypuss. Address it nicely by asking if they are not able to hold up to their end of the deal in the NH, then it might be best they find another hood. Give them a chance first (since you addressed it) and if they are not able to do what they need to do, then I say kick them. They have to learn (even at a young age and online) that there are expectations even on games and if you can't live up to them without having communication, manners, etc. then it's best to move on.
Good luck! <3
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Post by Fifio ☃️ on Jun 2, 2021 7:04:48 GMT
Agreed with above try to talk nicely and if no effect than boot you should not feel like this in your own "home" its about team work
Good luck and hope you will have a peaceful, happy neighborhood again
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Post by 🌼GymGirl🌺 on Jun 2, 2021 7:17:48 GMT
It has been my experience that many kids don’t have any idea how to be a team player and they are quite oblivious to the consequences of not fully participating. We have a couple in our hood who invited their grand daughter to play. It was a long 2 days 🤦♀️ She started the derby and almost right away, deleted the task and took another. An hour later she announce she was going to dance school for the summer and couldn’t play anymore. So the derby was screwed from day one and no apologies from the grandparents either. The couple is still with us 3 years later. Anyway, I would probably send a hood message or ask in chat if they have any intention of helping hoodies or chatting, or whatever you need from them. If it still feels like an elephant in the room, then I think they need new homes I agree with wussypuss. Address it nicely by asking if they are not able to hold up to their end of the deal in the NH, then it might be best they find another hood. Give them a chance first (since you addressed it) and if they are not able to do what they need to do, then I say kick them. They have to learn (even at a young age and online) that there are expectations even on games and if you can't live up to them without having communication, manners, etc. then it's best to move on. Good luck! <3 Agreed with above try to talk nicely and if no effect than boot you should not feel like this in your own "home" its about team work Good luck and hope you will have a peaceful, happy neighborhood again I agree with all this. It isn’t easy but if they are not going to participate in the team they need to find a new NH. You can suggest this as an option but if there is no alternative tyou will ha e to make remove ghem. All the best and I hope you can resolve this peacefully. |
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Post by SmallChange on Jun 2, 2021 12:10:22 GMT
What everyone else has said, pretty much.
I would send a message to the original member & say that having the other two isn't working and ask if she wants to start up a 'family NH' & take them to that or if she wants you to to 'evict' them?
Either way they need to go ASAP. Otherwise you risk losing your NH. & a good one is hard to create.
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Post by blackbrit on Jun 2, 2021 18:26:26 GMT
What everyone else has said, pretty much. I would send a message to the original member & say that having the other two isn't working and ask if she wants to start up a 'family NH' & take them to that or if she wants you to to 'evict' them? Either way they need to go ASAP. Otherwise you risk losing your NH. & a good one is hard to create. I appreciate that approach a lot, too, SmallChange. This approach opens the possibility of the elder of the family collaborating, if they want to. They may not, but at least they could.  |
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Post by SmallChange on Jun 5, 2021 11:16:48 GMT
Your dog is gorgeous!!
(I need to faff with a photo as mine are all too large but I like the bunny!!)
It also makes it a bit easier on the elder if they want to stay and someone to blame for kicking them out! I had real sleepless nights and cried plenty of real tears over NH's - all too intense. I LOVE playing solo. It's a very different game, harder in many ways, but it's less stress & less responsibility!
Good luck, let us know how you get on
PS: I wish we could send messages to those who ask us to join their NH or ask to join ours. I hate just declining, it feels so personal, whereas it's simply that I want to play solo. I have two friends sitting in my NH so it doesn't look like I play solo, but neither have played in years.
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Post by blackbrit on Jun 5, 2021 17:20:20 GMT
Your dog is gorgeous!! (I need to faff with a photo as mine are all too large but I like the bunny!!) It also makes it a bit easier on the elder if they want to stay and someone to blame for kicking them out! I had real sleepless nights and cried plenty of real tears over NH's - all too intense. I LOVE playing solo. It's a very different game, harder in many ways, but it's less stress & less responsibility! Good luck, let us know how you get on PS: I wish we could send messages to those who ask us to join their NH or ask to join ours. I hate just declining, it feels so personal, whereas it's simply that I want to play solo. I have two friends sitting in my NH so it doesn't look like I play solo, but neither have played in years. Thanks for all of this SmallChange! As for Mr. Puppy, he crossed the rainbow bridge a year ago. His spirit is still strong in all things love and all things fun, so he will stay as my avatar for all things involving games. |
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Post by Mom’sCar on Jun 6, 2021 14:48:46 GMT
MissPoufy, it looks like you have gotten some pretty good advice from you fellow forumers. I hope whatever route you take will work out and make your NH better. 😊
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Post by misspoufy on Jun 6, 2021 22:00:37 GMT
I thank you all for the sound advice. I wish I could message the elder of the family directly but other than talking to her in the group I think it's not going to happen. I just have to decide what step to take next. I appreciate you all.
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Post by SmallChange on Jun 7, 2021 12:28:58 GMT
Your dog is gorgeous!! (I need to faff with a photo as mine are all too large but I like the bunny!!) It also makes it a bit easier on the elder if they want to stay and someone to blame for kicking them out! I had real sleepless nights and cried plenty of real tears over NH's - all too intense. I LOVE playing solo. It's a very different game, harder in many ways, but it's less stress & less responsibility! Good luck, let us know how you get on PS: I wish we could send messages to those who ask us to join their NH or ask to join ours. I hate just declining, it feels so personal, whereas it's simply that I want to play solo. I have two friends sitting in my NH so it doesn't look like I play solo, but neither have played in years. Thanks for all of this SmallChange! As for Mr. Puppy, he crossed the rainbow bridge a year ago. His spirit is still strong in all things love and all things fun, so he will stay as my avatar for all things involving games. |
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Post by SmallChange on Jun 7, 2021 12:32:13 GMT
I am so sorry to hear about MrPuppy, it's SO hard when they go. I'm sure he's having lots of fun & cuddles while he waits for you! (Hopefully he's got a long wait though!!).
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Post by SmallChange on Jun 7, 2021 12:41:25 GMT
I thank you all for the sound advice. I wish I could message the elder of the family directly but other than talking to her in the group I think it's not going to happen. I just have to decide what step to take next. I appreciate you all. OH it's very difficult if you don't have a way of chatting to people individually. After many years of being gentle etc and having been through serval big dramas, I'd be more brutal now. You have a good NH, they're HARD to create and have been getting more & more difficult. IMO you need to protect your NH much more than you need to worry about these 3. Boot out the two newcomers, if the original member doesn't like it, they can go set up their own NH if they want to OR settle back down to how things were, such is life. The rest of your NH will thank you for it. |
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Post by emailkathy on Jun 7, 2021 14:55:48 GMT
This saddens me. We also have a small cohesive neighborhood.
Maybe, without naming individuals, you could post a message letting everyone know that neighborhood rules are changing. Then make a list of changes like-
As our neighborhood grows our collective needs change. Starting with the upcoming derby the following changes are being made:
-If opted in to derby you MUST COMPLETE all tasks taken.
-Must only take 320 (or highest available)
-Must do a diamond task.(OR diamond optional- whichever way you like it)
*this will go into affect with this derby. Non compliance will result in being removed from our neighborhood.
.... or something along these lines. Add any other things you wish to bring up/change. Maybe even directions on how to leave the neighborhood if this doesn't fit their needs. Then everyone will know up front with no question what the expectation is.
Good luck, and bless you!
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donkeyfan
Happy Member
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Posts: 3,218
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Post by donkeyfan on Jun 17, 2021 20:49:13 GMT
Hi misspoufy, as the other farmers wrote, there is no easy going. But you have to prioritize. It's your NH, you are the leader, so you have responsibility. I'm also sure that the other members of your NB are aware of the current situation and would like to see some clarification. Don't hesitate any longer, it's getting only more worst the longer it takes. I understand that it is really, really difficult to use clear words, but believe me, after that you will feel better and this will strengthen you for the future. I wish you good luck and power to stand this situation. You can do this! |
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Post by PedrosPlotThickens on Aug 21, 2021 9:56:14 GMT
You have to be nice to your friends.
If they stop being friends - you can stop being nice.
I told one of the neighbours who had been with us for several years they would be leaving ... that was after leading the derby for several weeks with the one member delaying doing their tasks so we were often coming in 4th or 5th by the end of the derby.
As for kids - if they don't chat to us (assuming it's a parental rule, talking to strangers) - they get kicked straight away, we need to work together on the derby and use chat to do it.
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